Let’s play Monopoly

I saw a comment in the minutiae of social media that the Yankees are buyers at the trade deadline.

Nonsense.

Yes, I know, we live in a world of opposing opinions, but I can’t decipher if the individual was being overly optimistic, or just guilty of woeful misunderstanding. The Yankees are far from a contender in 2023, and the front office has been engaged on a strict march on the path to mediocrity for some years now by way of compounding mistakes with the same mistakes. At the time of this writing they have secured last place in the American League East, and it’s not the least bit surprising. I, along with many, assumed this is where they’d be, but the start of every April fans try to be optimistic, and that part of me said, Surprise me. They haven’t, of course, and only reaffirmed my analysis of their substandard front office.

I wrote at the start of the season that I almost want to be a Tampa Bay Rays fan. Not for some sense of jumping on a winning team band wagon, but rather for more than a decade now their front office does everything right. From draft to development to analytics. Some people loathe analytics. I don’t. I’m a librarian after all, and information is the key to informed decisions whether they turn out right or wrong — because at the end of the day the random elements always rule and the unexpected happens. However, I’ve been sounding the alarm for years it’s not the analytics that are bad, but rather as an organization the Yankees are amongst the worst in baseball on how analytics are applied. Their failures far exceed their successes.

All of this got me thinking about the game of Monopoly. The Yankees, the Steinbrenners, have deep pockets, yes, but it appears the front office has thrown around money unconscionably bad with no sense of accountability. Deep pockets mean you can keep the superstars on the payroll longer than other teams, or buy a spare part to fill a role, but not to assemble an entire roster. The Yankees, and Cashman specifically, throw good money after bad, and then pay continually over the value in relation to on field production. Jacoby Ellsbury, Aaron Hicks, and Josh Donaldson are the poster boys for this.

So let’s play a little game of Monopoly with the Yankees roster using the following values in Monopoly. The roster I’ve pulled from STATS.

• Mediterranean Avenue – $60
• Baltic Avenue – $60
• Vermont Avenue – $100
• Connecticut Avenue – $120
• St. Charles Place – $140
• States Avenue – $140
• Virginia Avenue – $160
• St. James Place – $180
• Tennessee Avenue – $180
• New York Avenue – $200
• Kentucky Avenue – $220
• Indiana Avenue – $220
• Illinois Avenue – $240
• Atlantic Avenue – $260
• Ventnor Avenue – $260
• Marvin Gardens – $280
• Pacific Avenue – $300
• North Carolina Avenue – $300
• Pennsylvania Avenue – $320
• Park Place – $350
• Boardwalk – $400

After each player I’ll place where they rank on the Monopoly board in terms of actual value along with a brief description.

1. Albert Abreu, St. Charles Place. Basically a journeyman pitcher. An extra arm in the bullpen.
2. Greg Allen, Vermont Avenue. On the roster because of injury.
3. Harrison Bader, Illinois Avenue. Definitely add a spark of enthusiasm to an otherwise disjointed dugout. Would certainly keep him, but would never overpay for enthusiasm either. Minor leaguers can be enthusiastic too with a chance to break into the show and add adrenaline.
4.  Jake Bauers, Baltic Avenue. There isn’t much here other than the part of a utility player. Especially with injuries to stars. I would think hard about giving a minor leaguer a chance depending how long a starter would be out of the lineup.
5. Oswaldo Cabrera, Mediterranean Avenue. His advantage is youth, but with each game there’s regression. However, with hard work and dedication he might be able to attain St. James Place level, but that might be his zenith in terms of skill.
6. Willie Calhoun, New York Avenue. Definitely a veteran and a step up the board, but long term solutions? I’m undecided where he would land in a greater schematic.
7. Gerrit Cole, Boardwalk. This is a no brainier. One of the top pitchers in the game. That doesn’t mean he’s untouchable at the trade deadline. When you’re stuck with having to blow up the roster and having to chart a new course unfortunately you’d have to take bids if there were serious inquiries for his services.
8. Franchy Cordero, Vermont Avenue. There might be too many Vermonts on this roster due to current injuries, and unfortunately Franchy might be an example of that.
9. Nestor Cortes, Atlantic Avenue. Since he arrived in pinstripes Nasty Nestor has been mostly a reliable bright spot on this team. Not perfect, and occasionally roughed up, but those days are going to happen. Unfortunately, he might be another player you’re forced to flip and the trade deadline if the incoming offer is too good.
10. Josh Donaldson, Tennessee Avenue. I’ll be really honest here because there’s a lot of hate going on Donaldson right now. He’s joined at the hip with Aaron Hicks somehow, and with Hicks departure he’s now getting the full merciless throttle of it all. At his best Donaldson was a Ventnor Avenue level player. With the Yankees he’s been Baltic Avenue level. The position player’s version of Sonny Gray. With a trade and change of venue he might get back up to Tennessee Avenue caliber, but those Ventnor days have come and gone.
11. Scott Effross, Mediterranean Avenue. If one listens to talk shows the scuttlebutt this is a Marvin Gardens level pitcher. However, I cannot rank that which I don’t see. Right now Effross is this generation’s Carl Pavano – who himself was another poster child for disastrous decision making by the Yankees front office. A phantom. A sound player in that he’s heard, but never seen. Look, I get it. He didn’t want to be injured. He’s a professional who wants to play. I’m just saying from a front office perspective this is an utter failure. They’re expecting a Marvin Gardens, but coming back from injuries especially for pitchers is a dicey prospect at best, and if he returns as a Virginia Avenue then this is a fireable offense if you’re a GM because that wasn’t what you sold everyone from fans to ownership.
12. Domingo Germán, New York Avenue. He holds baseball immortality now with a perfect game notched on his belt. This is why I rank him here. With steady improvement I think he can eventually attain Illinois Avenue status. He’s never going to be Kershaw, and nobody I think expects this, but he’s going to have a nice career. He just needs to remember to wash his hands frequently.
13. Luis Gil, Baltic Avenue. Has not played in 2023.
14. Ian Hamilton, Tennessee Avenue. Has shown some quality during his Bronx tenure. Has potential to move up the Monopoly board, but still not at New York Avenue level only because of quantity of appearance not the quality.
15. Kyle Higashioka, St. James Place. Handles the pitching staff fairly well, and seems a bit of a throwback to Girardi. However, you have to hit slightly more than they do in order to move up the Monopoly avenues.
16. Clay Holmes, Indiana Avenue. The feeling is he should be ranked higher than this, but every now and then he just loses all sense of pitching. The second half of 2022 proved that, but if those erratic days are behind him for good then he definitely can move up quickly. It’s just today he lands here.
17. Aaron Judge, Boardwalk. The only untouchable name on this roster. He’s the face of the Yankees, of the current MLB, like Jeter and Mattingly before him. He’s the captain. Every other player I’ve named can be considered at the trade deadline, even the ones I want to keep. Not Judge. Gavels down.
18. Tommy Kahnle, Atlantic Avenue. I feel he too should be higher on this list, but past injuries always concern me. I can see him possibly moving up at some point.
19. Isiah Kiner-Falefa, Kentucky Avenue. I’m kind of surprised myself I’m ranking him here, but I think of Louie Soho in terms of his adaptability, and sometimes that’s needed. IKF seems to get some Twitter hate, and sometimes it’s deserved, but I also blame what appears to be the disjointed nature of the cohesion on this roster. That’s a different discussion for another time as to why that is, but IKF does in fact have a role on this team.
20. Michael King, New York Avenue. The problem with MLB continually remains the lack of a salary cap, and King proves this. The knee jerk reaction is he should be ranked higher, be worth more. I don’t think so. I think his potential can maybe move up to Atlantic on this board, but that’s about the max of his abilities.
21. DJ LeMahieu, Illinois Avenue, and fading. You can move up and down on the Monopoly board, and a few years ago I would have definitely agree LeMahieu was Pacific Avenue, but for whatever reason there’s been a falling off. More so at the plate. It’s his defense that has him at Illinois.
22. Jonathan Loáisiga, Kentucky Avenue. Remember John? When these guys get hurt we sometimes forget. Not holding that against him. I want to rank him higher, but just can’t until we see him again.
23. Ron Marinaccio, Tennessee Avenue. He has been decent for the most part, but we need to see more before moving up the list. Notice how many of these players are in a holding pattern? They may move up the list like Ron, or drop quickly. This is their actual value today; not what you hope one day will be. Sometimes its a Bolex watch. Wishing it to be a Rolex won’t make it so. The Yankees front office does too much of that.
24. Billy McKinney, Connecticut Avenue. Under standard operation, that’s is without key injuries, I wouldn’t think he’d be on this roster.
25. Frankie Montas, Vermont Avenue. When you are in uniform as often as Carl Pavano, you get ranked like Carl Pavano. I don’t even consider him as part of this team. Another sound player. Too many of these have been put on the roster by the front office over the years. I don’t want to blame the players themselves for injuries, but you have to look at the front office and say, Seriously dudes?
26. Wandy Peralta, Ventnor Avenue. At least he’s reliable. Not Marvin Gardens, but he’s pretty close to getting to that level.
27. Oswald Peraza, Baltic Avenue. He gets ranked here not because he’s bad, but because new players are an unknown. There has been heat on the organization to bring him in. Well, he’s here for now. It’ll be up to him how fast and how far he jumps up the board. I put him at Baltic instead of Mediterranean because he went 1 for 1 last night, but everyone starts at the bottom as far as I’m concerned.
28. Nick Ramirez, Vermont Avenue, and trending in the wrong direction.
29. Anthony Rizzo, North Carolina Avenue. He’s not Judge. He’s not Stanton. I know of his struggles, and people are ready to tar his heels in frustration. I’m wondering if there’s an unannounced underlying injury the team hasn’t released. Things have been conspicuously bad for Rizzo since he took a foul ball weeks ago. No one is untradable at the deadline, and this board piece still has value if it comes to that.
30. Carlos Rodón, Virginia Avenue. Let’s not try and pretend he’s Marvin Gardens. The only part of the Yankees front office that is truly exceptional is the PR department that sells these trading cards to the fans for more than they are actually worth.
31. Clarke Schmidt, St. Charles Place. Nothing more to add here.
32. Luis Severino, Illinois Avenue. Once at Marvin Gardens he has fallen down the board due to injury. Given the severity of the injuries over the years he might slide a bit further. How soon before we hear about a “slight soreness in the shoulder” again?
33. Giancarlo Stanton, North Carolina Avenue. This is a shame because once upon a time, even with injuries, he was firmly cemented at Park Place. Times change, however, and the back of your baseball card only tells the story of the player you were; not the player you are. There’s value here like Rizzo if a good offer comes in at the deadline.
34. Gleyber Torres, Indiana Avenue. Gleyber is frustrating because you see the Marvin Gardens in him that he doesn’t always live up to. There are too many mishaps defensively, and sometimes at the plate. So I get it. The front office sees Marvin Gardens, but struggle with the reality he’s actually Indiana Avenue.
35. Jose Trevino, Atlantic Avenue. Definitely solid behind the plate. He’s not Posada, or Munson, nor do I expect him to be. He just does his job.
36. Lou Trivino, St. James Place. Another situation where I don’t know where he’s supposed to fit in, and he may not know either. In any event he lands here in Monopoly.
37. Anthony Volpe, Connecticut Avenue. Earlier this year he was drifting between Vermont and Baltic, but some steady plate appearances puts him up to Connecticut. Hopefully that trend line is moving in the right direction. His youth is his current advantage.
38. Ryan Weber, New York Avenue. Veteran pitcher that will give a solid start. Don’t expect Cy Young on the mound, nor someone from Pacific Avenue, but will probably work out for the most part.

Now if you take the average of all of the values of the Monopoly cards it comes to $214. If you’re going to be a real legitimate contender the field value of your players, not the payroll, but in terms of production as it translates to wins, you probably should be averaging somewhere around the $250 mark. Ranking the players as I have done the Yankees average is $188. To me that states this is a below average roster.

The Yankees, again at the time of this writing, are 50-45. That’s slightly over .500 baseball, and if we equate 500 win percentage with $214 using my Monopoly scoring as a talent base, that puts them it at around $219. Sobering thought? Based on the talent on this roster they’re actually overachieving. Of course injuries have a lot to do with that. Judge, your Boardwalk, is out as a prime example, but that’s not what is being sold to the fans and the ownership cutting the checks. We are consistently being told the team is a contender. To be a contender on my Monopoly scale means coming in around that $250 mark, and talent-wise they’re not even close. Which is why the Yankees are sellers at the trade deadline. Implode the roster except for Judge. Throw open the cupboards. It’s not happening in 2023.

Lastly, the thing that is long overdue is re-evalute the talent, both on the major league and minor league levels, but don’t dare let the current front office do it. They’ll continue to make the same decisions and make the same mistakes. Take the car keys away from them. Forget about Ohtani. You’re not in the running for him. Not because you can’t afford it, but not having Ohtani isn’t your problem. The timing isn’t there for Shohei because the house is corroded from within. If the house was in order then maybe, yes, get in the Ohtani bidding war. This is like the teenager that wants to go out with their friends because it’s summertime, but can’t because you have been failing all your classes and now are stuck indoors with summer school homework with the distracting laughter coming from the rest of the neighborhood. You can’t go out and play ball with Shohei Ohtani because you have other homework to do and some major life decisions that need to be addressed.

It will be interesting to see what, if anything, the Yankees as an organization will do. None of this is the least bit surprising. How crazy it is that it’s the Tampa Bay Rays that are the valedictorians, and the Yankees are struggling not to repeat the grade.