The Sound Of Music
As I get older I discover more things about myself. I guess I personally go through phases of self-discovery.[1] Perhaps everyone does as they reach the throws of middle age. We know who we are. What we like. What we don’t, and we have ever decreasing patience for time wasted particularly in the don’t category. Like everyone else I have a handful of hard stop don’ts. Spaghetti is one. Most Italian cuisine is another. I know I’ll get sour expressions and angry responses, but remember such things especially the culinary are subjective. Most Italian cooking is overrated. I don’t care how many hours of preparation goes into preparing a meal. I don’t care how long it takes finding the proportional level of herbs and spices, making the pasta, or just the right selection of food ingredients – at the end of the day it’s all the same dish after red sauce is poured over the top. Everything is one dish. Chicken parm – pour red sauce over the top – it tastes no different than the manicotti, the spaghetti, the lasagna. It’s the same meal with different shapes of identical pasta with redundant red sauce. A sort of neutral food taste. If I poured chicken gravy over everything – mashed potatoes, stuffing, chicken, ham, turkey, and even fish, it would eventually all taste like chicken gravy. That’s Italian cooking. It has a far superior culinary marketing department than the actual culinary menu itself, but again, it’s subjective.
So is the sound of music. Some like jazz, some like rock, some like heavy metal. It’s all subjective. Now, while quite different from something say, like spaghetti, at least with music I know what items I like and what to ignore. Generally speaking I’m eclectic when it comes to music. Each song is an individual creation that sits on its own merits, but for me to hit the like button it has to speak to me at some level. Do I like the sound of it? (Boy is that very subjective!) Are the lyrics understandable? Can I relate to the lyrics in some way? If not, then what is the context of the song? Even if it’s something I normally wouldn’t like have I heard it before, say, at a bar or beach or some location that’ll bring back fond memories? Then it gets the thumbs up. With all that being said music isn’t something that is a requirement in my life. If I hear something I like, fine, but I don’t actively seek out artists, concerts, or albums. As I get older I listen to music less and less. Commutes to work generally have me listening to news podcasts, or a podcast on a specific subject matter – not any type of song. Have I gone to concerts? Of course. Have I enjoyed them? Absolutely, but it has been because I was invited by friends – not anything I did on my own. That’s the key difference.
Even less noteworthy, as I’ve gotten older I’ve realized how much music is an emotional manipulation tool on the part of the artist to elicit a specific feeling or response. I recoil away from that level of mind control. My thoughts, my emotions, are my own, and I detest them being manipulated by an outside force. Sad songs say so much. Just because you’re feeling down please don’t inflect that on me. I can feel sad or despondent all by myself thank you very much. I look for stability in my life; not chaos.
There is, however, something very specific about left-brain / right-brain individuals. Sometimes I don’t know where I land on that spectrum, but like many things I’ve found it’s probably near some sort of hemispheric pole between the two. I have my creative side to a certain extent, but life has forced me to evaluate experiences from an analytic perspective. If anything I consider myself a left-brainer with a bleed to the right when necessary. With that being said I’m discovering more each day how different the right-brainers operate. A lack of focus that occasionally results in a lack of commitment. If the start time is 11:00 a.m. then it really means 10:45. Right-brainers don’t see that. They feel that anywhere around 11:00, and by that they think 11:30, is close enough. They’re in the ballpark individuals void of understanding the need to sit in a specific seat printed on the ticket. Which brings us back to music – they feel the music. I do not. They want to absorb the emotions of the music. I absolutely do not. They’re actively seeking the emotional manipulation aspect the melody provides. Break up with a significant other? The right-brainers will play the sad song. Me? I’ll analyze what happened to us, and attempt to evaluate how this situation unfolded, was it my fault, could I have done anything different, and what can be taken to move on from this experience? I don’t need music’s influence during this self-evaluation process. I need quiet time to reflect and review. For these reasons music, beyond that of simple entertainment, serves no real value. Sports have value. It teaches leadership skills, coping, interaction with others, what it means to be there for others, and provides growth in that context where music can only provide intangible feelings. It doesn’t provide a roadmap to learning from mistakes and failures. It only can provide the balm. While that is also important it’s not as important as learning what to do next. Which is why, and I know this sounds harsh, that I find most (not all of course) that are heavy into the music scene are also the most immature. They haven’t grown up because they haven’t grown. I’m talking about the groupies. Those that continue to be barflies at middle-aged when they should be home with their families; their children. It is really a bell curve when you think of it. Bars and live-music oh my is great when you’re younger, and in college, and probably into your thirties, but if you haven’t a spouse or family responsibilities by then it’s probably because you’re trying to cling to something of little value. Music can be soothing, but it’s also junk food in the context it doesn’t provide the required nourishment for proper growth as a functioning adult. Show me someone that goes to a couple concerts a year at middle-age and I’ll show you a responsible grounded individual. Show me someone who goes to live-music events every weekend I’ll show you an emotionally frail, possibly single or divorced individual who has trouble managing their lives. When you view it like that it’s not unlike a gambling addiction. They think they’re going to see the live-music, but in reality they’re attempting to apply more balm to the infection in their life. Perhaps it’s loneliness or absence from something or someone. They’re looking to avoid adulthood and remain that fleeting younger version of themselves. It is at that point they become a bit of a cad with few social graces. If a child double dips a chip you scold but teach a child. When an adult does the same you’re left frozen repugnant over the action.
I get it. We get in our collective comfort zone and it takes a crowbar sometimes to get out. No one likes to get old either, but we do, and it’s a fact of life. Retreating for a few hours under the drums of a live-band, the music comforter, probably feels good. Occasionally it’s understandable. A regular habit is avoidance. Which is why, for the most part, music does very little for me. I can apply the balm, but I know the more analytical prudent approach would be to see a doctor and have the infection looked at. The sound of any music will not prevent it from spreading.
I also want to emphasize this is very separate and distinct from the musicians themselves. They are not part of the silo to which I am referring. These are gifted individuals who can write and perform something I most certainly cannot. Can you play the piano or guitar? God bless you. There is no way I’d be able to do either. No, what I’m referring to is two fold. Why music just doesn’t do anything for me, and why it has such importance to others – sometimes to their detriment. We are manipulated by so much media anyway. Targeted ads. News soundbites. Focus groups. It’s overwhelming. Music is just an unnecessary contribution to the white noise that, for me, offers very little in return.
Again, that’s just me. Again, it’s subjective. You do you.
Try writing a blog. There’s something about putting your thoughts in written form that organizes them in such a way that makes self-awareness and discovery inevitable.