The Weight of Knowing Too Much

“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.” — Willie Nelson

In recent weeks, if not months, I’ve noticed an evolution within myself that I couldn’t quite identify. Much has changed since January 2022 — some for the good, and some containing the normal avalanche of minutiae that comes from the day-to-day existence associated with adultifying. That timeless course taught to all by the harshest instructor known — Experience — reveals that the world moves on with or without you. Therefore, it can be said that the world is a very indifferent place, further legitimizing the cliché that we are all simply a drop in the ocean.

Please note that my world, my class of ‘adultifying,’ is no more harsh or easier than anyone else’s. We all have our bills, our taxes, and that never-ending balance sheet of accounts payable and receivable that makes accountants — who seem to get an endorphin rush from such things — squeal with pleasure when their eyes fall upon voluptuous T-charts and hard numbers. That isn’t the point, however. The main concern is that there is something incorporeal that I was looking to identify, and the best I can come up with is age-related.

Every generation goes through it, and I’m certain my parents are looking down upon me with a hearty laugh. With age, rightly or wrongly, comes a measure of indifference (even though every philosopher and activist warns against it). This is far from the youthful aspirations of the younger version of yourself that gazed upon the post-graduation landscape and felt the future possibilities were endless and, through hard work and dedication, any goal was attainable. It is only after someone has built up a measure of calloused skin brought on by years of disappointment that the true image of the world reveals itself.

I am not a negative person — quite the contrary. I feel that the best way to describe me is willfully optimistic and somewhat naïve when it comes to certain aspects. It’s an accepted ignorance, wherein I wish to continuously clutch, with both hands, that youthful outlook of optimism. No one wants to be an old curmudgeon. Still, any human can only be saturated by so much before the only defense mechanism that remains is indifference — and that might be the contributing factor to a larger societal problem. A debate that goes beyond the scope of this post.

I never considered myself a “news junkie” of any kind, but like many, I followed the news locally, nationally, and globally because knowledge of history helps foster greater decision-making moving forward. This is true for ambassadors of countries and for ourselves as we manage our lives, again, in that grand coursework of adultifying. None of us are going to be involved at a large table negotiating trade deals or wording of treatise, but how we govern our actions through the decision-making process is no less important. That being said, I find myself watching the news with a greater infrequency than I have before — mostly because there is so little change in it. Most of it is bad — locally, nationally, and globally — and after a time, such dismal information taxes a person’s soul. Eventually, once crossing that dreadful chasm that is middle age, one looks to filter out such overwhelming negativity. If life is truly about living as opposed to existing, why then continue to subject oneself to such a tsunami of dark energy? The proper response should be to recoil away from it.

It is for that reason, as I stated at the beginning, that I found myself in a bit of a quandary resulting in a quiet evolution over the last little while. I became quite cognizant that I’d much rather be uninformed than informed. Politicians and global leaders — regardless of affiliation — will do what they will. I can’t help it. Therefore, I have made it a point to stop watching the news because so much of it is the same — and, I must also say, so much of it is predictable too. The result is a much healthier perspective. I wouldn’t claim I’ve gone full George Carlin (video link below) on the matter. I contend we all still have a vested interest in the outcome, and I certainly do not wish for a giant comet to wipe out humanity. However, there are healthy effects that come from distancing oneself from such continuous negativity.It isn’t a matter of apathy or not caring. I’ll care when given the opportunity to do something about it, but I will not lose sleep over what I cannot control. A simple concept we should all be familiar with: control what we can and have the strength to persevere through what we cannot. That is what adultifying is about. We all have our bills and mortgages. These are part of life and will never go away. What we can shut out is the incessant dark noise that surrounds them — and spend more time with our family and friends.